Dear Future Trans Femme,
I want you to know that you are loved
every time you look in the mirror and think “am I trans enough?”
you are an icon.
Dear Future Trans Femme,
Don’t listen to the haters, your girly demeanor is a gift
the laws people are passing to ban you from getting hormones
are only temporary. Justice will prevail
Dear Future Trans Femme,
Find Community. Whether it be
at a community center or school,
community is the best way to figure yourself out!
Dear Future Trans Femme,
Don’t buy a bra before being measured!
If you’re going to date, date a trans masc
he can give you his old girl clothes
and you can give him your old boy clothes!
Dear Future Trans Femme,
When your egg cracks, don’t dye your hair.
You are just as trans even if you don’t have “Blue hair and pronouns”
Dear Future Trans Femme,
Remember that it’s not a race, don’t rush things
surround yourself with people you love.
Come out only if you feel safe.
Dear Future Trans Femme,
Read Kai Cheng Thom, Read Nicola Dinan,
read Judith Butler, read Grace Lavery
read Julia Serano, read Torrey Peters,
read Kate Bornstein, read Imogen Binnie,
read Casey Plett, read Akwaeke Emezi,
read Janet Mock, read Susan Stryker,
read Raquel Willis, read Laura Jane Grace
read Alok, read Geena Rocero,
read Cecilia Gentili, and read Sarah McBride.
Keep reading and never stop looking
for ways to learn about others’ experiences
Dear Future Trans Femme,
But also write. Write like I’m doing now,
write to help ease the pain of living
living in a world that tells you you’re illegal because of fear and hatred.
Write to help people see your humanity and teach others about people like yourself.
Write, because we don’t have the luxury of the written record
and so our stories will die with us if we don’t tell them.
Dear Future Trans Femme,
Write your memoir to tell the world that they cannot silence you.
Your voice is one that matters and your memoir is just as important.
Treat your Sisters (The Dolls™) with patience and compassion.
We are all going through the struggle together and infighting never helps.
Dear Future Trans Femme,
T4T is safe but don’t try to limit yourself.
Safety is key. If you decide to go stealth,
at least have a support network of other dolls who will come fight for you
Your attraction to men hasn’t gone away,
it’s just likely your attraction to women has increased, or reverse
Dear Future Trans Femme
Please travel safely. Walk with another doll if you can
especially at night, in the city, please be safe.
Dear Future Trans Femme,
Your visibility is revolutionary, but it’s also vulnerability.
I love you, you are my sister and I am yours.
Dear Future Trans Femme,
There is Still Time!
Dear past Finn,
Your identity is not something to take lightly,
be kind to yourself and practice self-care.
Your age is just a number. Do not be too hard on yourself.
AND DON’T COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHER DOLLS
With Love and Compassion,
Your Elder
©2024 Finnoula Hughes. All Rights Reserved
Finnoula’s corner 